by Sasami

there is a void in my heart hollow pulsating pain pain pain and naught to fill it
only you can and you want to
why is my happiness so important
but you wont let yourself its not your place to fill it
to fill means to feel something for me
either not felt or denied
but the void is unfillable
only you can fill it but you
cant not now perhaps in the future perhaps never only time will tell
but not now
when i need a void
unvoided
lest i fall apart
collapse
why do i love
you
when you dont love
me
and maybe never will
i need your love
i need it
i
need
it
but i wont get it
cant give it unfaithfully
you dont want me hurt more
even though im hurt now
and i dont want you to be hurt
if you give love without feeling
you will be
in the end
and i want you to be
happy
unhurt
intact
unlike me
love alone wont heal me
only your love
anothers love will cease the pain
for a while
and then it returns
hundredfold
it is you i love
and perhaps always will
while you may
never
love me
a fate i accept
i
love
you
but you dont love me
may never love me
i know this
just do me a favor
find the guy
who is truly meant for you
and be happy
together
i will live
as i have
i will live
somehow

--Chris Ess / Sasami
written 13 September 1998

Added 14 September 1998

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