by Sasami

life is like a river steadily flowing flowing
with my tears overflowing

leaves once green so green so alive so beautiful
turned to gray dismal sad dying dead death death death
a lone figure crying by the rivershore
not some sorrowful specter moaning a loss long ago
but me lamenting this recent death death death
what is the difference soom the loss will be regarded as long ago
and i will still be here crying trying perhaps my tears can bring back life
no
permanent is death death death
i look down my hands soaked with blood unwashable by the river or saline tears
unwashable bleeding what is bleeding
nothing of me everything of the world around me
i killed it
i brought on the gray it seems to say
i killed happiness
i killed it i brought death death death
no i want to cry out no this is not my doing
im in denial
its my fault i killed it death death death
i want to run away i want to hide
running down an endless corner
running running running running
running from what
myself
death death death
i cant escape not from myself not from death death death
the corridor becomes a dead end nowhere for me to run nowhere for me to escape
from myself from death death death
scared afraid backed up as close to the wall as i can i watch my gruesome fate come towards me

"I am become death, the destroyer of worlds."

--Chris Ess / Sasami
written 27 September 1999

Added 04 October 1999

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