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Life's Little Amusements
My heart is on a carousel moving round and round, yet somehow my horse never manages to cross the finish line. I never find love or hope, I merely get lost on a confusion. My life is chaos. Over and over again, a repeating hell. Round and round I go. I am like a zombie walking in the shoes of a 17 year old girl. I can not stand it anymore. I have no place to turn, no one to look at. Everything is blurred. I just move each day, smiling and pretending to live but in my heart I feel dead. I dance with the rain drops. I lie to the world. Tell them I am fine, mask my heart with giggles and smiles. I long to be born again, to pick a new ride and try it. I want to feel excitement and hope in my heart. I have lost the thrill to move on. I continue to spin uncontrollably. What used to be fun-filled is now painstaking. i try to breathe and move on yet I'm suffocated by this intolerable world. People demanding things from me I cannot produce; thinking I'm Wonder Woman. I want to be consumed by my cacoon, lost in thoughts and hopes of love. Where is the magic in my life? Where has my life gone?--buttons
written December 1997
Added 25 August 1998
Comments: webmaster@emeraldsanctuary.com
